Are you someone who’s always been naturally “shy”? Do you feel a little tongue-tied when you’re in new situations or with new people? Are you overly nervous when meeting people?
If you answered yes to these questions, you are probably wondering if it is something you can change and learn how to stop being shy.
A recent survey on psychcentral.com concluded that somewhere between 40 and 60 percent of all adults report being shy, or identify more as someone who is shy.
You’re keeping great company! You’re definitely not alone, even though you may sometimes feel that you’re the only one experiencing shyness in social settings.
How to stop being shy starts with defining what shy is.
We use the term shy in many different ways. For some of us, it’s feeling a bit unsure when we’re in new situations or with new people.
What should we say? What should we do? We find that when we know someone, we feel comfortable speaking, but until then, it can be a real effort to make conversation.
Some people who are naturally shy are also introverted — meaning they gain energy from alone time and internal reflection — but not all introverted people are automatically shy.
For others, it’s a definition we received from a family member or other authority figure because we weren’t like someone else.
For example, if you have a really gregarious brother or sister, any behavior not like theirs could be labeled “shy.”
We just love to label and define people because it makes our environment easier to understand. And when you are told you are “shy,” it’s easy to take on that persona, because those around you reinforce it.
Shyness can also come upon you if you’re questioning your self-worth or value.
If you convince yourself you don’t have a worthy contribution to the conversation, or you are wondering why someone would want to listen to what you have to say, you can become hesitant to share your opinions or thoughts.
If you had an experience where your opinion was not listened to, or you encountered a bully or some other negative response to your thoughts, you could become more “shy” about sharing yourself with others.
Shyness isn’t some type of mental illness, or permanent social anxiety, or some genetic …….