I want people to stop calling my son shy. To be fair, I need to stop calling him shy too.
It’s just such an easy word to let slip out of your mouth.
My almost-three-year-old son Remy and I were out for lunch at a cafe one day. It was a weekday and we were early, so we were the only customers there.
A waitress said hello to Remy as we walked in, trying to get a response out of him. Remy said nothing in return but smiled. He was grabbing hold of my leg.
“He’s so shy,” offered the waitress. I said “Yeah” or some other vague, non-committal response, and walked Remy to our table.
As we waited for our food, the waitress came over and pulled up a chair to have a second crack at getting Remy to talk to her.
She was intense: Made faces. Baby voices. Even tried to tickle him. Remy, not having the safety of my leg by his side, recoiled into his chair.
The waitress once again said, “He’s so shy”. I just smiled politely.
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‘I wish people would think twice’
It’s not an isolated incident, but that day bothers me for a few reasons.
I know she meant no harm, but I really wish people would think twice before they forcefully try to get a child to engage with them.
And Remy has now started calling himself shy whenever he takes a while to warm up to someone new. And when he does, there’s always this look on his face, like he feels he’s disappointed me.
I don’t know if the cafe incident was the trigger for Remy referring to himself this way or if it’s just the culmination of months of hearing that word bandied around; not only by strangers but by his own parents.
Mostly, though, I’m just angry at myself for letting that waitress get so close to Remy and making him recoil in such a fashion. And I’m angry at myself for not stepping in and asking her to back off.
I guess I’ve been used to Remy being a baby who …….
Source: https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/shyness-in-young-children-stop-calling-my-son-shy/101105394